Cheater
by Zazzles the Sandbird
Summary: When The Cheat becomes friends with Homestar, Strong Bad decides he's better off without him - and he probably is. But hey, loyalty has to count for SOMETHING...right? Changed the rating to T for language.
1. Jibblifying Horror!

**Everybody! Everybody! Guess what? MY SECOND FANFIC, THAT'S WHAT! I am so happy right now. Like, I have been waiting forever and a day for this (actually, more like 2 hours, but what difference does it make?)! Anywho, in celebration of my finally discovering Homestar Runner Fan Fiction, how about a chapter? Yeah? That sound good to you? 'Cause it does ta me! Sooooo…teh chapter! Possibly including Teh C.! Or possibly not. I dunno. Read it and find out, you lazy young parson, you!**

**P.S. No, I refuse to write anything about Homestar and Strong Bad and gayness and whatnot. Not that I have anything against gay people, I'm just sick of Fan Fics about people who absolutely hate each other becoming a couple, 'kay? Although I'm definitely all for Seddie. I just don't wanna write a hundred billion fan fics about it. Ya got that? 'Kay, NOW onto the chapter! Oh, and DISCLAIMER: I, unfortunately, do not own Homestar Runner. Which I suppose is actually a good thing, considering I don't know the first thing about Flash animation…or script writing…or voice acting…yeah, it's a good thing.**

"Ha ha…..Oh my God, Pom Pom. I mean, _how_ do you come _up _with this stuff, man?"

_Bubble bubble. Bubble bubble bubble bubble! Bubble._

"Oh, come on, man. There's gotta be _some_ kinda secret you're not telling me. 'Natural talent', my foot! Seriously, dude, tell me!"

_Bubble bubble bubble!_

"Oh, fine. Be that way. Hey, just because I want to ask you, for no particular reason, because it's not like I have anything I might possibly planning to do, have you seen Homestar lately?"

_Bubble? Bubble, bubble bubble. Bubble bubble?_

"Like I said, no reason, dude. But you really don't know? You sure?"

_Bubble. Bubble bubble._

"Alright, dude. But hey, if you see him around, tell me, alright? Me and him got some…unfinished bweesness. Mainly on my part. Actually, _all _on my part."

_Bubble._

"Okay, see you around, Pom Pom."

Strong Bad walked away, his mind occupied with thoughts of the terrific athlete. And how to go about the unfinished business. Which, namely, was a quite elaborate prank on Homestar – that necessitated his active participation. Thus, Strong Bad needed to have a conversation with him and The Cheat – and soon. Who knew when the sour milk would reach full ripeness? Who knew how long it would take for Strong Sad to finally listen to 'that C.D. he ordered six weeks ago'? There were a lot of sensitive variables, and all of them were riding on that one conversation. Never before had Strong Bad and The Cheat planned a prank quite so….ambitious. He could only hope that everything would fall into place just as planned. He certainly didn't want another 'caper' incident.

As he banged through the front door of the House of Strong, he could hear Strong Sad orally composing some morbid poetry, punctuated by odd grunts and a few ripping sounds. _Oh yeah_, Strong Bad thought with a devilish grin. _I forgot I glued the pages of his notebook together again. Good times…_Suddenly, his little reverie was interrupted by loud The Cheat noises, followed by a large thump that shook the entire house. Somehow, Strong Bad was both curious and cautious – it was the first time he had felt a mix of emotions quite like that. He had no idea what was making him so hesitant to find out just _what_ was going on. So he ignored the feeling of dread and walked in the direction of the basement.

As he approached, he heard (and felt) a few more loud thumps, and a couple more noises from The Cheat. Now he was getting a little weirded out. Yet something made his legs keep moving. Something piqued his curiosity and forced him to peek around the doorframe, the only thing separating him from what lay inside. As he caught sight of what was occurring, he gasped, his jaw going slack. His eyes bugged out, his green tongue hung loose inside his agape mouth. As he gazed at the horrific scene unfolding before him, the taller of the two beings inside the room turned toward him with an open mouthed smile. Strong Bad instantly recoiled, disgusted at the obvious show of affection (Just the friendly kind, mind you!).

The athlete opened his mouth:

"Hiya, Stwong Bad! How ya doin'? Wanna join ouw game of Pawcheesi?"

The Cheat and Homestar were jumping on the couch. Together. And The Cheat…..well, he certainly wasn't biting Homestar or pouring scalding water on him or even running away, at the very least. No, he was apparently _enjoying every minute _(In the friendly way, mind you!)_. _And Strong Bad just couldn't believe it.


	2. Confusion!

**Hey peoples. Listen, I forgot to have my little moment of gloating in the last chapter, so here it is: Hee hee. I totally had you going there for a second, didn't I? I mean, the whole thumps and The Cheat noises and Strong Bad being scared thing – I totally freaked you out. LOL. Tee hee. Alright, so now that I've finished with THAT, I think it might be time for another chapter. Ok? Ok. So, here we go!**

"Stwong Bad? Hello? You okay?"

Strong Bad had been standing in the doorway for a full minute now, still a little Jibblified from what he was witnessing. Nonetheless, his brain was recovering, and he was able to look about the room, slowly absorbing the entire scene before him.

There were a few empty Cold One bottles littering the ground, but not enough for The Cheat to have actually gotten drunk, so there went _that_ excuse. These were accompanied by a couple crumpled up chip bags. But these were not just _any _chip bags. Oh no, _these _bags had once housed none other than Strong Bad's prescription Italian Herb Chipotle Buffalo Ranch Guacamole Thai Peanut Style Chippety Chomps.

**Quick note here – Believe it or not, it didn't take me very long at all to find this entire spieling title for Strong Bad's prescription. I just searched 'retirement' on the HSR Wiki. Now, back to the story!**

And as if _that_ weren't enough, there actually _was_ a Parcheesi board laying in front of the couch, though they didn't appear to be using it. Unless, of course, they were playing some convoluted Homestar version – Eughhh! That _alone_ was enough to give Strong Bad some _serious _Jibblies. There was also some kind of mysterious stain on the couch. Although, from what Strong Bad could tell, it was just from the beer. Like he was going to go and inspect it, though.

As Strong Bad quietly fumed, Homestar suddenly shouted, "B-53, my tuwn!", confirming Strong Bad's suspicions. At this, Homestar and The Cheat leaped off the couch and proceeded to roll a 60 sided die. It landed on twelve. Homestar seemed annoyed at this result, and said, "_B_, The Cheat, _B_!"

The Cheat got miffed and said indignantly, "Meh! Meh meh meh _meh_, meh meh meh!"

"Oh, wiiiiight. I fowgot about that. Oh well," Homestar shrugged, "back to the couch."

But just as they were about to resume jumping, Strong Bad suddenly snapped out of his daze, although he was so absolutely confused and furious (seeing as The Cheat had no excuse for his odd behavior), he could barely speak anyway. "Th – Uh – Buh – You – I – Wh – How – Eh – "

"Hey look, he twying to say 'The Cheat'!" Homestar hopped off the couch and walked over to Strong Bad, talking all the while.

"Come on, Stwong Bad! Say 'The Cheat'! Say 'The Cheat'! Come on! Say it! Say 'The Cheat!"

"Meh meh _meh_," The Cheat snickered.

Then, finally, Strong Bad engsmsploded.

"THE CHEEEEEAT!"

"Hooway! The old westleman said 'The Cheat'!"

But Strong Bad wasn't done yet. Not by a long shot.

**LOL. Sorry. I just could NOT resist the Bambi reference there. It was the first thing I thought of when I was writing that part. If you don't get it, just replace all 'The Cheat's with 'bird's starting at when Homestar says, "Hey look, he's twying to say The Cheat!" and replace 'old westleman' with 'young prince'. Make sense now? I just didn't include the 'momma, momma' part, for obvious reasons. By the way, I was reading an old HSR FanFic yesterday, and I came across a part where the author made an interesting point. They say that, if you try to write out something like Homestar's speech impediment or Coach Z's Midwestern accent, you might as well spell everything phonetically. There's just no point. What do you guys think? Anywho, I gotta go soon, so I'm just gonna upload this and see you guys later. Okay? Well, if it's not okay, too bad. Unfortunately, you don't have a say in this particular matter. See you later. Actually, one more thing I want to mention: has anybody ever seen 'The Adventures of Milo and Otis'? Because whenever I hear or see, 'Not by a long shot', I always think of that British narrator, and then I think of that movie, and the part with the funny 'dog marching song'. That's, like, my favorite part of the movie. 'Here comes the dog, strong and brave, WOOF! Here comes the dog, your life he – Oh!' LOL. Okay, this is getting way too long, so bye now! **


	3. Annoyingness!

**Okay, two things before we move on: One, Happy 4****th****! Two, has anybody ever heard of Molly Moon? I seriously recommend it. Especially since there are only three fanfics about it, one of them's incomplete and the second one's in Spanish! So read it. Anyway, here we go!**

For the first time in his entire life, Strong Bad fainted.

"WAIT, whoa whoa whoa! Whattaya mean, I fainted? Tell it right, man! Or at least chronologically!"

Okay, sorry man! Geez, can't a guy have a little fun? ANYway…..

So where were we? Oh yeah –

"THE CHEEEEEEEEEAT! WHAT THE HOLY EPIC CRAP ARE YOU DOING? I MEAN, THE COUCH, AND THE DRINKS, AND THE CHIPS, AND THE GAME, AND THE HOMESTAR, AND…..and…and….and….WHAT THE SENSE MAKE?"

Strong Bad buried his head in his gloves, unable to face his lifetime friend. He began breathing heavily, almost as if he were quietly sobbing.

"WHAT? 'Quietly sobbing'? Dude, you are SO pushing it. I gave this a very small chance, and you are using up your luck! I mean, this kind of crap is why I hate fan fiction in the first place, you crap – for – brains!"

Sigh…..FINE.

Strong Bad buried his face in his gloves, blah blah blah. He began hyperventilating –

"Hyperventilating is for nerds! "

SHUT. UP.

"YOU shut up!"

You know what, I'm done. You want this written the, ahem, 'right' way, then YOU write it. I'm sick of this crap.

"Alright, fine! Good riddance! So, ahem, uhhh…..okay. So I was standing in the doorway, and The Cheat's just sittin' on the couch like, 'Don't look at me! I'm totally innocent!' He's even trying to pull off the puppy dog eyes, which he SO cannot do. So, obviously, I know he and his sorry butt are anything BUT innocent, so I start screaming my head off, like, 'What the crap are you doing, man! Homestar's a total nerd! What's your problem? You take some o' Strong Sad's pills again?' And then HE decides, for some stupid reason, to start getting all cheeky with me, like, 'Meh! Meh meh meh meh meh meh! Meh meh meh, meh meh meh! Meh meh! MEH!' So then I'm like, 'Whattaya mean, 'you've been friends for months'? That's just…..that…..that hurts, man. That's like, totally disloyal. You are in for a SERIOUS kicking session when we get home, young man…..er…..Cheat!' But then he's just like, 'Meh meh meh!' and then he STICKS OUT HIS TONGUE! Like right at me! Seriously! I could NOT believe it. Because, like, first of all, who knew he even HAD a tongue, right? And secondly, WHERE does he get OFF, man? I mean, that is totally rude! It's like he doesn't even care!

"But then, of course, Dumbstar has to jump in with his stupid babble, like, 'The Cheat, are we finishing this game or what? I got plenty more Cold Ones with your name on 'em!' So naturally, I get a _little_ upset. Just enough to, you know, go over and punch him. And not even in the face. Just in the gut. Of course, it was hard enough to knock him off the couch, but you can't call it a punch otherwise, right? But then – you're never gonna believe this – The Cheat takes one look at Homestar, then looks at me, and then he – hey, wait a sec. What are you – who – oh. Uh, hello, gentleman. Lovely evening, isn't it? Uhhh…heh heh…..I think I'll just be… leaving….. now… uhhh… Peeeeeow!"

Ah, yes. The art of intimidation. Such a wondrous thing. Anyway, let's see. Ah, so that's where he left off. It'd be a good place for a cliffhanger….hmm….am I really that cruel? Let me think about it yes. Sorry! See you whenever I see you…people….again…..umm…..Peeeeeow!

**Not really. The Peeow, I mean. But really on the cliffhanger. Tune in next time to discover just what that devilish The Sneak will do to his dastardly companion Strong Bad, and what repercussions will occur! Excitement! Thrills! Roma-**

"No way, dude. You are NOT saying what I think you're about to say."

**Well, what do you think I'm about to say?**

"Uhh…."

**That's what I thought. How did you get back in here, anyway? Didn't I kick you out, like, two minutes ago?**

"Fine. But in the words of the great (but not as great as yours truly) Arnold Schwarzenegger, 'I'll be back'!"

**Suit yourself. I'm going to end this chapter, and then get a drink of water, and then go to bed, like the wise person I am.**

"Wise, perhaps, but not AWESOME!"

**Yeah, have fun with that. I'm officially bored. Bye.**

"Fine! Who needs you? You're about as much fun as Strong Sad at 2:37 pm on a rainy Tuesday! I'll have fun all by myself! Yeah! Serves you right! Look at me…..having fun….all….by…my…..self…..ummm….Peeow!" 


	4. Anger!

**So, here it is, Chapter 4. Before I start, I would like to thank PsychoticAppleSauce for 1. Being so forgiving, 2. The turtles and fireworks, and 3. The inspiration to write a few xtra fluffy clichés of my own! Of course, she already took the best category for that, iCarly. But I'm sure I'll find something! Anyway, now that that's over with, teh chapter!**

The Cheat gazed cooly at Strong Bad, a fiery rage burning in his eyes. He began breathing heavily, foaming slightly at the mouth, as he visibly clenched his jaw. He bared his teeth, the light fiercely glinting off his gold tooth. He hopped off the couch, and began slowly approaching Strong Bad. Strong Bad, at the same time, began slowly backing away, holding up his gloved hands in a weak attempt at self defense. He began stuttering in his defense.

"Oh man. Look, The Cheat, I had no idea! You can't just become friends with random people and expect me to automatically know that…..well…..you're SERIOUS, man! I mean, come on! Of ALL the people! Although, then again, I suppose I would rather it be Dorkstar than , I dunno, Coach Z, or…The KOT. But still! Give me a break! I've punched him hundreds of times, man! And this ONE time, THIS ONE TIME, you decide to go all psycho on me for doing it! I mean, what the deallz, man? I just don't get it!"

Suddenly, The Cheat stopped. His breathing slowed, and he closed his mouth. He relaxed, and began to speak:

"Meh meh meh. Meh meh MEH meh, meh meh meh meh meh meh meh. Meh, meh meh, meh meh meh. Meh meh meh meh. Meh meh meh meh meh."

Strong Bad smiled. "Thanks for understanding, man. But can you just explain to me HOW Homestar is going to help us? Or how he matters in any way other than free stuff and punching?"

The Cheat sighed, and began explaining.

After a minute or two, Strong Bad shook his head.

"No man, I still don't get it. I just can't understand what is so appealing to you about…HIM. I just…..he's so dorky….and stupid…and…..Homestar."

The Cheat bristled. "Meh meh MEH! Meh meh meh meh meh!"

Strong Bad groaned. "Seriously, man? That's it? I can't believe you! After all we've been through…..you…you….YOU DISGUSTING LITTLE…..GOODY TWO-SHOES!"

The Cheat gasped. This was the lowest of the low. This was the farthest below the belt Strong Bad had ever physically or metaphorically hit or kicked him. The Cheat, being called a goody two shoes, a _rule follower_, a…._TTT (True Test Taker)_! Strong Bad was right. This was most _definitely _it.

He said nothing more, simply brushed past Strong Bad and scooted out the front door, slamming it behind him.

"Well, fine then! Who needs you! Not me! I got plenty of other friends! I can live just fine without the disloyal likes o' YOU!"

Strong Bad huffed, going over to sit on the couch. Unfortunately, during his little tiff with The Cheat, he had forgotten one minor detail: Homestar was still there. And he was fully recovered from his facial punch.

"Awww, Stwong Bad, wussa mattew? Why did you fight with The Cheat? He's so nice to _me, _Stwong Bad. And besides, I thought you guys wewe alweady fwiends!"

"Shut up, Homestar. Just shut up."

"Okay!"

Homestar laid back down on the ground, almost instantly falling asleep.

"Aw crap! Oh well. At least he doesn't snore."

Strong Bad sank into the couch, grabbing one of the chip bags and flipping the T.V. on.

"There should be enough crumbs left in here to last me through at least 3 episodes of Caleb Rentpayer. 4 if I'm careful. Time for my special primetime anti-depressant marathon!"

Strong Bad snuggled deeper into the couch, wondering what The Cheat was – no. He shook off those thoughts and tried to pay attention. It _was _one of his favorite episodes, after all. But somehow, his thoughts kept drifting back to The Cheat. He sighed and lay down on the couch, eventually drifting into a fitful sleep.

**I couldn't figure out how to end this chapter! But finally, I managed to figure it out. It just kept going on, and on, and on! It was getting so rambly! But yeah, it's all good now. So anyways, thanks again to PsychoticAppleSauce. See you next chapter! **


	5. Denial!

**Hey peoples! It's been a while…..maybe about a week I guess. Sorry if you went totally insane in the meantime (then again, like any of you would go that crazy over a story like this. I think this is just FanFiction background clutter, at best. If you want some really good stuff, I would suggest reading Prototype, its sequel Techno Sloshy, Real World Runner, The System is Gone, For Awesome or For Evil (never finished though, boo), Weirdos in Paradise, and How to Live Like a Dead Poet. All of them are HSR, except for the last one, which is DPS.). Anyway, in case you do care, here's another chapter, just for you. R & R would be greatly appreciated.**

Three hours later, Strong Bad woke up to a loud banging noise. He groggily sat up and rubbed his eyes, wondering what time it was and what the crap that noise was. Then he realized he had left the T.V. on, and Caleb had just been shot.

"Aw, crap! That was one of my best naps ever! Oh well. Guess I'll go find The – "

Strong Bad stopped suddenly. "I mean, I'll go find the…clock, and see what time it is. Yeah. Then I'll go see what Bubs is up to, I guess. That guy's okay most of the time. And he's good for free stuff."

With that, Strong Bad wiped his mouth, hopped off the couch, and walked out of the basement, making extra sure to step on Homestar on the way out:

"Oof! Fraaaank, quit tossing my Marshalaaade…ZzZzZ."

"Hey! He told me he didn't snore! I'll have to punch him for that later."

Strong Bad went upstairs and checked the time.

"4:00! Geez, that _was_ a good nap! Guess I must have been practicing more than usual."

He banged through the front door, and headed off to the Stand.

A few minutes later, he arrived. Bubs was hanging around outside, Cold One in hand.

"Hey, S to the B! What's up, man? What can I get for ya?"

"Hey Bubs. Not much, actually."

"Not much? I'm talking to Strong Bad, and ask him what he's got going on, and all he has to say is _not much_? Come on, man! Who are you, and what have you done –"

"Forget it Bubs, alright? Just leave it alone. Now, can I get a Sno Cone? Blue Flavor?"

"Whatever, Strong Bad, sure thing…..if ya got tooty two cents."

"Oh, yeah….hang on, let me see if I got anything in the First National Bank of Awesome."

Strong Bad dug around in his pockets (yes, apparently he has pockets), and shock of shocks, miracle of miracles (no, seriously), he actually HAD MONEY. No, really. STRONG BAD. HAD MONEY. IN. HIS POCKETS. Yeah, you're probably having some kind of heart attack right now. I know. SO epically unbelievable. But let's just get on with the story while you recover, okay?

So anyway, he handed the money off to Bubs, who in return shoved a Sno Cone into his glove.

"Pleasure doin' business, Strong Bad! If ya need anything else, just give a call!"

"Yeah, sure Bubs."

Strong Bad was just about to head off, when Bubs said:

"Hey, wait a minute? Where's Teh C.? I thought you guys was hangin' out today! What gives?"

"Bubs, leave it alone."

"Strong Bad, is there something you need to –"

"_Leave. It. Alone_"

"Okay, if you say so! I'm just tryin' to help a brother out. You know, man to man. But if you don't want my help – "

"No, Bubs. No, I don't want your help."

"Alright, fine. You want another one to go?"

"Yeah, sure. Make it…ah….6, actually. Yeah, I think I can carry that many."

"6 Blue Flavor Cones it is!"

As Bubs filled his order, Strong Bad waited silently, thoughts running wild. Why couldn't Bubs just leave him alone? Seriously. All he does is walk out of his house and go over to the Stand for a simple Sno Cone, and suddenly Bubs just HAS to know where He Who Will Most DEFINITELY Not Be Named is. AND why he isn't with Strong Bad. It's not like He hangs out with Strong Bad 24/7. Can't they have a little time apart without Strong Bad being haggled about it? God, SOME people.

Bubs handed the Sno Cones to Strong Bad, saying "Here ya go. 6 B.F.S.C., to go! Not that there's really any other way to have 'em….."

"Thanks Bubs. I'm gonna be off now. See you later, I guess."

"Yeah, see you later, kid."

As Strong Bad waddled awkwardly off, trying to keep his pile of artificially colored and flavored ice, Bubs said quietly to himself, "Geez, hope he doesn't get into trouble with that attitude of his. Sometimes he's just too stubborn for his own good."

And with that, Bubs turned and walked silently back into his stand.

**Hmmm….I hope you guys don't think the characters were too OOC in this chapter. I honestly don't know the characters well enough yet to really capture their true attitudes – at least, I'm afraid I don't. Tell me what you think. By the way, who should he visit next? Just curious what you think. Read those FanFics. They're awesome. My next story is gonna be pretty good. Maybe even good enough to NOT be background clutter! Tch. Yeah. In my dreams. So anyway, R & R, plz w/ chiz!**


	6. More Denial!

**What is this, Chapter 6 now? Alright then. What it is, my doge.**

"Stupid Bubs….grumble grumble…personal business…..grumble grumble…"

Strong Bad was quite miffed at his failed attempt to converse with Bubs, but brushed it off as he continued his search for someone to spend an evening with. He thought for a minute or two, strolling along, until suddenly he hit upon an acceptable someone else. He continued to walk, searching for the only other person who might be good for a little conversation.

Finally, he ended up at the Stick, where his target was apparently just hanging around. _I guess that's a good thing. Means he has about as much to do as me. So he should be more than willing._

"Hey, Pom Pom. What's up?"

Pom Pom turned and bubbled amiably.

"Yeah, I'm okay. So, uh, whatcha doin' here at the Stick?"

More amiable bubbling, as Pom Pom shrugged.

"Oh. Okay. I'm not doin' much, either. So, you wanna come with me and find somethin' to do?"

He bubbled quizzically.

"Well, or we could just hang around here. I just figured, you know, findin' you would be…you know. You're good for a fun time, know what I'm sayin'?"

Pom Pom bubble-laughed, then bubbled a thank you.

"Anytime, man. You're totally cool. So, what _do_ you wanna do?"

Pom Pom thought for a minute, then bubbled a question.

"No, I was just there. Not much goin' on. Anything else you can think of?"

He answered negatively.

"Oh, alright man. Maybe later then. Or tomorrow. Between you and me, I'm not exactly a busy guy. So whenever you're free is fine."

Pom Pom rolled his eyes, but bubbled in agreement and sounded his goodbye.

"Okay, see you around, man."

Strong Bad sighed as he walked off, thinking hard. Geez, what now? Bubs and Pom Pom were the only two guys worth talking to! Now he only had lame people to turn to! Alright, no sense in complaining about it. Just…..pull out your list, and see who's next after Pom Pom. Easy enough.

He yanked a crumpled piece of paper from his temporarily existent pocket and examined it.

"Okay, so let's see…..umm…first is _him_, then Pom Pom, then Bubs, then…..Homsar? Fine, I'll give it a shot. Off to…where _is _the little guy anyhow? Let's see….."

With that, Strong Bad was off, again in search of a good time…or at least, a tolerable one.

**Hmm. Maybe a little short, but alright. So, R and R, I guess. And, uh…..don't sniff the fruit salad? I guess? Kinda? Maybe? Ah, screw it. I got nothin'. Neil's dead. Blech.**


	7. Even MORE Denial, AND Crappy Writing!

**Oy. Do I **_**really**_** have to finish this? Do I **_**really**_** have to keep going? **_**Really**_**? It seems like, every time I'm in the middle of a story, I get the inspiration to write something totally and completely different, and so much more awesome! It's so freakin' annoying! Ah, well. All in good time. For now, another chapter for all the little people who actually care. Here goes it!**

Surprisingly, it didn't take Strong Bad long to find Homsar. Yeah, I'm just fudging everything up, aren't I? This doesn't even deserve to be called an HSR Fanfic. I love my life.

Anyway, Homsar was just floating around in the Field, mumbling to himself. So Strong Bad walked up and said, "Hey Homsar. What's up?"

Guess what Homsar said. No, seriously, guess. It's not bad grammar. I'm honestly telling you to guess what he said. Really.

Okay, fine. I'm just fudging with you. Let's keep going, shall we? Ahem –

"I'm baaaaaaaack!"

Oh crap. That was NOT what Homsar said, which can only mean one thing.

"You're dang right! Now, are you gonna let me tell the REAL story this time, or am I gonna have to pull out my epic awesome FISTS O' FURY!"

**Wow. That's sad. I know full well that I ripped that off, but I have no idea what from. I love my life.**

_**Or did I? **_**No, seriously, did I?**

"Umm….dude. Just 'cause you put it in bold type doesn't mean I can't ….hear….it? How the heck _do _I know what you're saying?"

Don't go there. Just don't. It's a really complicated, tangled web of fourth wall breakage and Fanfic magic that I just don't feel like picking apart right now. Especially considering it's 12:25 A.M. right now.  
>"Yeah, alright, I'll give you a break…but back to the matter at hand! Lemme tell this the way it's SUPPOSED to be told!"<p>

Alright. Tomorrow.

"Whattaya mean, _tomorrow?_"

I mean tomorrow. I'm gonna come back and finish typing this tomorrow. It's already past my bedtime. Get off my back. And don't try to type it up yourself – only I can do that, with my epic awesome godly powers of creation and Fanfictionocity!

"Your…what?"

Never mind. Just shut up until tomorrow.

"Sigh….._fine_. Just until tomorrow."

Yep.

"Well…..good night…..I guess."

Wow. That wasn't totally OOC or anything. But whatever. Good night, Strong Bad.

**Before I go, don't you agree that all words are automatically made 500% cooler with the addition of the suffix -ocity? Total epicocity. Until next time, then, you sad excuse for a chapter!**


	8. Actually Pt 2 Chap 7 Secret Fun Times!

**Okay, I want to apologize for my last chapter. It was 12:30 am, I was high on no sleep, and….well…that was the result. So, anyway – **

"Ahem."

**Oh, uhhhh…hey, Strong Bad! What's, uhh…..what's up?**

"Oh, shut up! You know what I'm here for! Unless, of course, you don't remember _what you said_."

**Sigh….alright, fine. **_**I'm ever so terribly sorry, Strong Bad.**_

"For…."

**For….standing you up, I guess.**

"What? No! That's only for dates! I'm not dating _you!_ You're not _nearly_ hot enough for me!"

**Oh, shut up.**

"Who said you could use my lines agai-"

**On to the chapter! Oh, and Strong Bad, since I broke my promise, how's about we write the whole rest of this story in first per – I mean, let **_**you **_**tell the rest of it?**

"That's more like it, idiot! You _better _let me – wait, what am I –"

**Bye!**

"Hey, wait a – aw, crap! Great. Now I get to relive a stupid story about my own life that I had no intention of reliving in the first place! Stupid….grumble grumble…..crap for brains….grumble grumble…..alright, let's get this train wreck over with.

"So, yeah, okay, I was walking along, trying to find Homsar…and, yeah. I found him. He was floatin' around the Track, for Cuppin' Cakes _knows _what reason, and I walked up to him, and I was like, 'Hey…Homsar. What's up," because I was pretty sure that's what I said last time that worked so well…you know, with the whole Reservation, and the sacred items, and the magic ritual….so I figured, hey, it worked once, why not again? And sure enough: 'Hey, Strong Bad, my man! What's the haps?'

'Hey, cool, it worked again!'

'Well, actually, dude, for some reason, believe it or not, every time I get sick, people can understand me quite well – but only if they listen.'

'Wait – aw man, you're sick?'

'Oh, it's nothing contagious, man. You should be fine. You've understood me no problem before, so…yeah. You have no trouble understanding me now. You already know how to listen to me. You've had practice.'

'Makes sense. This should be a much better conversation now.'

'Yeah, definitely. So, whatcha wanna talk about?'

'Oh, I dunno. Maybe…hey, you heard my demo yet?'

'No. What're you talkin' about?'

'Well, see, I'm planning on releasing another C.D. sometime these next couple o' months, and I just wrote a new song for it. I haven't produced the whole thing yet, but I managed to cut a sweet demo for that song. I have to say, man, it's pretty epic.'

'Cool. So you want me to listen to it?'

'Yeah, sure. Let's go back to my house and I can play it for you.'

'Sweet.'

"So, we started back to my place, him floatin', me walkin'. We talked along the way about video games and stuff. I was actually beginning to think this might be a good evening after all. If Homsar stayed sick long enough, I might even be able to make it until _you know who _came around – and that couldn't take much longer than a week.

"I banged through the door, as usual, and Homsar decided to land and walk through almost like a normal person – except he still makes that weird sound with his feet. Anyway, we head down to the basement, and I start diggin' through some stuff for the demo. Meanwhile, he's just kinda lookin' around. I don't think he'd been in my house before. Actually, I think he's the only person who hasn't. Kinda weird, I guess. It's not like he's a bad dude, or anything. He's just…..I dunno…I guess it's mainly the fact that most of the time, you can't understand a word he says. That makes for some boring conversations.

"So anyway, I find the disk and turn around, then walk over to my boombox and shove it in. I hit play, crank the volume, and in the few seconds of silence, I say:

'So I calls this one, 'Squeedly Vs. Meedly'. There's not really a lot of lyrics, it's mainly just-'

MEEDLY MEEDLY MEEDLY MEEDLY MEEEOW WOW ROW!

'-that.'

'COOL. I LIKE IT SO FAR.' He starts – dancing, I guess you could call it. I mean, he starts kinda tapping his feet, and shaking around, and stuff. It's actually kinda funny to watch. But I didn't say that. I could tell he was enjoying himself, and honestly, when you can understand him – well, he's nice to everybody like Homestar, but without any of the naivete, know what I'm saying? He's just…..I dunno. He's the only guy I don't _want _to insult. He's really cool, actually.

So, I don't know – the song goes for a couple o' minutes, and he's moving to the beat – and then I look down, and realize I'm tapping my foot. _Well, that _is_ a pretty cool beat. I mean, it's definitely something to dance to. _Then I realize what the crap I'm thinking. But then I look at the good time Homsar's having, and I'm just like, _why not? Not like anyone's ever gonna know I was dancing…in my basement….with Homsar. _He _certainly won't tell anyone. Plus, I got some pretty impressive moves. I might as well show 'em off. So why not?_

So then…..gah, I can't believe I'm saying this – before I know it, I'm dancing right along Homsar. And you know what? We're actually having a pretty good time, me and him! I mean, it's not something I'd do every day, but…it's fun. Really fun.

**Look, before this gets out of hand, I gotta take a break. I'm afraid I'm gonna make this go too far and…..you know…do EXACTLY what I SPECIFICALLY said I WOULDN'T do. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. So give me a minute. I gotta do something else and come up with a way to keep this going. Okay, you know what? It's gonna be a long break. So I'm just gonna officially make this Part Two of Chapter Seven, and make the rest of whatever happens (or rather, DOESN'T HAPPEN) here Chapter Eight. Okay?**


	9. Chap 8 Sweet Lady Irony!

**Hey, people who might be reading this. I am SO sorry this took so long. I honestly meant to have this done at least 3 days ago, but stuff came up, on thing led to another, and, well….but anyway, here it is, Chapter 9 that is really Chapter 8. Oh, by the way, the chapter title is just a reference to Lappynapped. There's no real irony in this chapter – except maybe for that one part. So, yeah. I'm gonna try to make this short, because I don't want to get into another tiff with You Know Who over here. Enjoy the comedic stylings of –**

Hey!

**Oh, fine. Just read it.**

Ahem – so, there we were, me and Homsar –

**What the - Strong Bad!**

What?

**Oh, such blatant hypocrisy!**

What the everloving crap are you talking about?

'**Me and Homsar'? Ahem?**

Oh, uh….yeah.

**Yeah, Mr. Grammar Nazi himself…**

Hey!

_**Well….**_

Fine. Okay? _Homsar and I_ –

**That's all I ask.**

Shut up, Lady! _Anyway,_ there we were, Homsar and I, putting our weight on it in the middle of my basement. I have to admit, there are worse ways to spend an evening – like trying to figure out how the crap me and –

**Stro –**

_**The Cheat and I **_got Homestar onto an ice floe in the middle of the Arctic. But, that's beside the point, a story for a different time, as they say – whoever they are. The song had been blasting our ears off and our brains out for about five minutes now, so you couldn't really have expected either of us to hear much of anything else. In fact, it was so loud, I bet we could have heard it faintly in the other hemisphere. Thus, being right at the source of the noise, it kinda took over our consciousness so we honestly could not hear a single other thing.

So it wasn't really a surprise that our entire heads felt numb when the song finally ended. What _was _a surprise was that, afterward, since it was so quiet, neither of us heard footsteps on the stairs. What was slightly less of a surprise was just whose footsteps they were.

'Hey Stwong Bad! Hey Miniman! What's up? Why awe you in da basement?'

'Argh…..Homestar, I have to know…_how do you keep getting in here?_'

'Oh, that's easy. I use my mind powews and will the doow open!'

'What? You have mind powers?'

'No, who told you that? I pick the lock.'

'I'm not even gonna….listen, why did you come here?'

'Nope! It's my tuwn to ask a question!'

'What? I – eh – sigh…fine. What?'

'Ahem – Why is Six L in youw basement?'

'Six L? What, you mean Homsar? We're just….hangin' out…..why do you need to know?'

'Is that youw qwestion fow this tuwn?'

'Ah…..no. Why did you call him Six L?'

'Oh, because he has six lettews in his name. Six lettews, Six L – it's pwetty simple.'

'Whoa….that actually made sense. Wait – since when do you make sense?'

'Well, I dunno. Since tasteball, I think.'

'And, the moment's gone.'

So, at this point, Homsar decides to cut in:

'Uh, should I leave man? I don't want to make things awkward.'

'Naw, it's okay. I'll get rid of him soon. Don't worry about it.'

'What the cwap? Stwo Stwo, you'we not making any sense!'

'Homsar, does this situation feel really, really ironic to you?'

'How so, Strong Bad?'

'It's just the fact that I have no trouble understanding you, and he has no idea what the crap we're saying. Is it just me, or shouldn't it be the other way around?'

'Ah, I dunno. I guess it is kinda weird. But hey, if you didn't understand me, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now.'

'Somehow, I'm having a lot of trouble believing that would be a bad thing.'

'_Stwong Bad_….'

'Shut up, Homestar! Why are you even still here?'

'Oh, oh, _oh_! Well, actually, I just wanted to tell ya that The Cheat told me to tell you –'

'No, Homestar. I don't want to hear anything that cheap little furball has to say. Now get out of my face, out of my basement, and _out _of my _house_.'

'But Stwong Bad-'

'_No, Dumbface. Get. Out. Now.'_

'Okay, okay. See you latew!'

Man, was I glad to get _him _out of my face. Suddenly, though, I realized I actually _did _want to hear what The Cheat had said. I mean, who knew? It could have been an apology. Heck, he could have been absolutely begging for forgiveness for all I knew! So, out of curiosity, I ran up the stairs after Homestar.

_Worst. Decision. Of. My. Life._

**I have no idea where I'm going with this. Be prepared for awesomeness, though. I hope. I really screwed up with Strong Bad, though. Apparently, he was expecting a bit better timing with this chapter, and I'll admit, we argued a bit. You may even call it a tiff. I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused him, because everybody knows how **_**epically busy and full **_**his schedule is. So, Strong Bad, I say it again. I am sorry.**

Dang right you are!

**Wait, didn't you already say that last chapter?**

Well…..I…uh…..I dunno…who cares? I'm leaving now. But I will definitely be back soon! These cliffhangers aren't gonna resolve themselves!

**Whatever you say, Strong Bad.**

Wait, what the – are you trying to suggest they _are_ or something? You're not making any sense!

**Whatever you say, Strong Bad.**

Stop it!

**Whatever you –**

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!


	10. Chap 9 A Lack of Hiatus and Bodily Fluid

**Happiness is upon us! Finally, after what I think was a year of hiatus, I finally have the inspiration for the next chapter! IT'S GONNA BE EPICSAUCE!**

Says you.

**Says the idiot who is _supposed _to be _resolving _a _cliffhanger_ that has been _left hanging _for _almost a year._**

Well, whose fault was that?

**Uh, actually, Strong Bad, your nonexistent girlfriend – Sasha, was it? Anyway, she told me you and her are married or something, and she came after you because you ran away to Vegas after the wedding, but then you came out here because you thought she didn't know where you lived, but she did, and now she's looking for you.**

I-buh-wuh-guh…HOW DID SHE FIND ME?

**Speaking of looking, I have no idea why you're running away, because she is _smokin'-forest fire. _**

Yeah, but she's an airhead.

**O_O.**

What? What are you staring at with those creepy little bug eyes o' yours?

**There is a girl….**

Yes….

**_looking_…..for _you _– nay, _STALKING _you….**

Yeah, I guess, but wha –

**and she is ELEVEN GORGEOUS…**

Yeaaahhh…what are you –

**AND she is STRAIGHT…..**

Uh, no crap, man. Seriously, what – wait…

**AND she is A FRIGGING IDIOT….**

Oh….my….Grumblecakes…..

**And YOU – here's the kicker – YOU ARE NOT, I REPEAT, _NOT _ TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HER!**

…..

**Either this is a miracle, or you're a bigger idiot than I thought. Based on my experience, I'm guessing you're going to run out of this room in about 10 seconds….9….8…..7**

KTHXBAI!

…**.What do you know, I was wrong. Huh. *waits for epic fail***

***2 minutes later***

…

**There you are.**

…

**Say something, you twat.**

...Let's just tell the public what happened.

**Yes, let's.**

I DON'T MEAN THAT, YOU FRIGGIN' FRIGGETY-FRACK FRIGGIN'…*sighs* I meant the story. Let's tell them the story.

***sighs* Fine. Let's. You go first.**

…So, where were we. I forgot, it having been _a friggin' year _and all…

**Or maybe your foreign chick made you forget…..for a little while…;)**

SHUT YOUR FRIGGING FACE HOLE.

**Alright, geez. Anyway, you were rocking out with Homsar in your basement (INNUENDO) and then Homestar got all annoying about The Cheat, so then you went upstairs cuz you actually DID want to know what The Cheat said, and you found…..**

What?

**Exactly. Tell the good people, Strong Bad….or at least the tolerable ones.**

Okay, cool, whatevs. So I goes upstairs cuz I think I'm in for some big time second-person groveling…and I see Homestar…..oh my God, I remember this part…

**Strong Bad, you okay?**

Uh, yeah, yeah, it's all good….I….guess…uh, maybe I should go see if Sasha –

_**Strong Bad. They're not waiting any longer.**_

…..Fine…So…..I….see….Homestar…..in front of my…door…..

_**Go on.**_

So he's…..lying…..on the floor.

In a pool….

of liquid of some kind.

And it's kind of red colored, so I think, 'Geez, he musta stepped on a juice box or something. Fine, I make him clean up the mess, then I make him talk to me about Teh Pitiful Not-Cheat, then I make him GET OUT.'

But then I realize the liquid's a bit more…..opaque…then most juices (for alls you uneducated peoples, that means 'not see through'), so then I think maybe it's Hawaiian Punch. It's like all over the walls and stuff, so I go closer to a big splotch to try to figure out what this crap actually is. Then I notice this weird, salty….rusty….smell…*shudders*__

**It's okay, Strong Bad, just keep talking…**

DAMN IT, QUIT BABBLING AT ME LIKE SOME CRACKER JACK HALF ASS THERAPIST!

…**We don't have to do this right now…**

No, I already started it, let me finish it. Just SHUT UP.

**Okay…**

So I get closer, and I stick my finger on the wall and wipe off some of the liquid…..and I smell it….and I can tell what it smells like , I shoulda just left it at that, gone and called somebody or something, I _knew, I frigging knew it and I just stood there like an idiot…_

**Strong Bad –**

SHUT UP. So anyway…..I had to make sure….not feeling my usual….confidence….you know….and…..I had to know…..so…*sniffs*

**Really, dude, it's okay, you don't have to –**

I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU DO NOT SHUT YOUR FRIGGING FACE –

**Okay, okay!**

I…..umm….I licked….my finger….and it tasted like blood.

And I knew it was blood.

So I took another good look at Homestar…..he was drenched in it…well, not all of him…

Just his leg…

And I took another look, and I swear, I don't know what happened, but….it looked like his leg had literally…..just…..exploded…..

And I could taste the blood in my mouth….

Leg blood….

Homestar's blood.

Last thing I remember, I was in the bathroom, kneeling over the Porcelain Throne…and….crying….and…..

I CAN'T DO THIS. *runs out*

…**Well…then….ummm….guess there's just one more thing to say…..**


	11. Chap 10 IT'S NOT OVER!

**BAZINGA! Oh, wait, wrong series…um…are you scared? CUZ YOU SHOULDN'T BE. Wait, still not right…smile! You're on Candid Camera! Oh, for God's sake…the point is, you're all idiots. LOL. Not that I would know if you guys fell for it, because ABSOLUTELY NO ONE SAW MY LAST UPDATE APPARENTLY. Geez, what's a girl gotta do to get noticed? I mean, does this bore you? Am I an idiot? Did you even like this story all that much in the first place? Can't you just tell me what's up to my face? Like, WTC?**

*ahem*

**Oh, right…sorry 'bout that…go on.**

Eh, it's cool. Plus, I bet they totally fell for it.

**Yeah.**

Anydangways, what REALLY happened is I goes upstairs, and yes, there's red liquidish stuff of some sort splattered everydangwheres. So I look around for like 2 seconds, and then see the flattened juice box near Homestar's foot, and Homestar sprawled on the floor. So of course I gotta give him a couple swift kicks to the bucket and **whatsonot**, and then I gotta tell him to get the everloving crap outta my face. Then I remember what I was gonna ask him, so I pull him back onto his feet and ask him what's up with Teh C.

"Stwong Bad…I thought…ooooohhhh…"

"Get ahold of yourself, Dipstar! Tell me what _he _said, or so help me Grumbles, I am gonna -"

"Okay, okay, Stwo Stwo…ergh…he said that…if you…*hic* if you were weady to…buwy the wabbit hutch ow **muffin**…uuuuhhh…that he wants…ugh…."

"HURRY UP AND TELL ME, IDIOT? WHAT DOES HE FRIGGEN WANT?"

"He wants…to…TALK to you…"

I realized Homestupid wasn't lookin' so great (not that he ever does, but this was worse than usual), so I hurried to push him out the door and onto the front lawn so that, if he puked or something, it wouldn't be in MY place. Then I remembered Homsar and ran back inside, leaving Homestar…what's the word for it…_writhing _on the front lawn (Eugh. Ever hear a word that sounds like what it means? Yeah, that's one of 'em.). So anyway, I headed back into the basement, where the song was just coming to an end. I waited for the final chord, then flipped off – I mean, _turned _off – I mean…dangcrapple, I pushed the button so it didn't play music no mores!

So then I turn to Homsar, who's like, "What's going on?"

"Uhh…Homestar just gave me that message from The Cheat…I gotta…umm…"

"It's cool, Strong Bad. You want me to hang around, or should I leave?"

"Whatever. It'll only take a few minutes, ten tops, so stay or go, it's fine by me."

"Thanks, dude. I actually just realized, I have something I gotta do, so I'm just gonna head off."

"Okay. Thanks for…y'know…"

"My pleasure. You're a cool guy, in case you didn't already know that." He snickered.

"Yeah, I knew that. So, uh, bye."

"Bye."

I strolled out of the house and strutted across the lawn, almost tripping on Homestar, lying on the grass, fast asleep.

"Oh crap," I thought, "I don't even know where-"

Then I realized I knew exactly where.

I headed around back of the house, to that abandoned lot we all know oh-so-well. At least, I think you know about it, if you don't have **crap-for-brains-itis** or something. I went all the way through, making sure to straighten out our proud country's sign first. It was leaning to the left, so that it almost looked decrepit. LOL look at me, usin' that fancy talk. I oughta make a new dictionary or somethin'. So anyway, I look behind the fence, and what do I see?

A little The Cheat, smiling back at me!

Okay, he wasn't smiling, but he certainly wasn't frowning, so that counts for something, right?

**Okay, so next chapter's probably gonna be the last one. Somebody say something about this story before it's all over! Oh and by the way, a few notes about this chapter: 1. Whatsonot is kind of a combination of whatsoever and whatnot. 2. When Homestar says, "buwy the wabbit hutch ow muffin," he's really saying, "bury the hatchet or something," in what I consider true knocked-about Homestar fashion. 3. Crap-for-brains-itis isn't just a typical Strong Bad joke. It's actually an ever-so-subtle reference to one of my other fanfics…which just happens to be a Homestar Runner and House, M.D. crossover – and not only that, it's THE FIRST OF ITS KIND. SQUEEEEE I'M SO EXCITED IT'S GONNA BE SO GREAT okay I'm done. And no, no one actually gets crap-for-brains-itis. They actually get a different disease entirely…**


	12. Okay, NOW IT'S OVER?

** HOLY EFFING GRUMBLECAKES, IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD TOMORROW…lol not.**

** On a completely different note, I decided to be totally crazy and, despite the fact that I've still got a bunch of crap to do in the next hour, I'm going to dash off another chapter of Cheater! W00T! God, seems like forever ago since I started this story. SO glad I'm finally finishing it! So anyways, let's see…where did we leave off…*checks FanFiction* Ah yes, that's where we were…hmm. Perhaps an apocalypse themed chapter is in order…or not. Guess we'll see…although, now that I mention it. I wonder where Homsar suddenly had to head off to…iiiiiiinteresting…**

** Well, anyways, just jammin' out to All American Rejects and wondering how to start –**

Oh, gee, _here's _an idea. Why not let ME do the talkin', and YOU do some walkin'?!

**Wow. Smooth. But fine, I know when I'm not wanted. *leaves***

Well, good. Fine. So, uh…*ahem* Oh yeahs. So I'm behind the fence, and there's Le Cheatitude, sitting – er, standing – um…squatting….? Well anyways, he's there, flippers crossed, brow furrowed – I really gotta stop talking like that – basically, he's looking pretty annoyed. And, well…okay, I'm just as annoyed as he is, but I'll admit that maybe…he has…a point. Not in having Homestar as a friend, definitely, but the way I reacted…yeah. So I tell him that.

'Hey, buddy…what's up…?'

'…'

'Yeah, okay, I get it. I messed up…'

'…meh?'

'Yeah, yeah, I was…umm…wrong. I mean, I still hate Homestar, and the two of you being friends still blows my mind…and NOT in the awesome burninating way…'

'_Meh…_'

'_I'm getting there, cheeseface.'_ Whoops. Hey, Strong Bad, you're apologizing here. Get it right for once.

'Umm…sorry…I just…I just wanted to say…I…'

I turn away from him, suddenly not sure I can do this. I may be the awesomest dude in the world, all the ladies might love me, but there are some things that weaken even the mighty Strong Bad. Whoa, what is _that _me – oh, what the _everloving penguins?!_ Get out of here!

**Alright, alright, geez, I'm gone.**

Okay. So. ANYWAYS, yeah, I'm having a little trouble sayin' the right stuff. Good thing me and The Cheat have been buddies forever and a day.

He walks over and pats me on the shoulder – which he can barely reach, so it's actually kind of funny. But I can tell he's trying, so I cover my smirk and finally blurt out what I've been trying to say for, like, ten minutes now.

'I'm _sorry._ I am so frigging _sorry_. Don't take this the wrong way, heh, but, umm…I uh…I need you. You're my best friend. You've always been there for me, and…I know I haven't really been there for you. In fact, at the moment I'm kind of wondering why you still hang around with me…but, you know, hey, it's your choice, I guess…but my point is, I need you…and I need you…to forgive me. Please. Because life withouof here?!t you…well, there are a ton of crappy clichés I could use to complete that sentence, but I'd really rather not, and I think you know what I mean already anyways, so…yeah.'

The Cheat sighed. I winced, thinking that maybe I'd gone too far this time…but then he smiled. And then he began to talk in the way that only a The Cheat can.

'Meh. Meh _meh_ meh meh meh meh. _Meh _meh meh meh, meh _meh _meh meh. Meh meh meh, meh meh meh, meh meh meh meh meh. Meh meh meh meh, meh meh meh meh meh meh?'

I laughed. 'How could I forget?! He ended up in a hole covered in yellow paint! How frigging _random _is that?!'

We laugh together, and I know we're okay again. But oh no, he's not done _yet_:

'Meh meh. Meh meh meh meh meh. Meh meh meh? Meh meh meh meh meh meh meh meh _meh _meh. Meh meh meh, meh meh meh, meh meh meh, meh meh meh meh meh. Meh meh. Meh meh meh meh _meh_. Meh meh meh meh. Meh.'

I smile and pick him up, carrying him home, hoping I never have to let him go again.

Wait, wait, _wait_. Lady, will you get the firetruck _out _of here?! LET ME FINISH THIS FRIGGING STORY ALREADY – MY WAY.

**Okay, okay, sorry.**

So…eh, I guess she just said it, but I'm gonna say it again anyway: 'I crack a grin and hoist him up, deciding on the spot to carry him home. Hey, after all this, the poor guy deserves a break.

'Buddy, you just said it all.'

I walk for a few minutes in silence, thinking about … y'know … chicks … and … umm … video games … and stuff. Then I suddenly remember something – two things actually.

'Hey, Cheataroo.'

'Meh?'

'Umm…you still gonna be friends with him after this?'

'_MEH…'_

'Okay, okay, just a question. Guess I can live with it. But there's something else too…umm…have you seen Homsar around?'

'Meh…'

'Huh. Okay, just wondering…'

_FADE TO BLACK_

_TODAY IS ALRIGHT 4 TONITE PLAYS IN BACKGROUND_

THAT'S NOT HOW YOU SPELL IT!

**WHATEVER!**

**Hehe, OOC FTW. I envy people who can keep dramatic shit like this in character. Ah well. All's well that ends well, I guess…**

**Seriously, though, where's Homsar?**


End file.
